time



Mom & Ollie - May 2011


Some days I wish I could stop time and live in the same moment for hours on end. We were driving into town this morning and I looked in the rear view mirror and Oliver was babbling away, chewing on his toy and looking out the window. My heart started breaking when I noticed the baby baby in Oliver has slowly disappeared. He used to hardly fill up his car seat and now the newborn insert needs to be taken out and his little feet dangle over the edge. What happened to my little 5lb baby and how in the world can six months slip by so fast? I am so emotional today. I usually don't visit Oliver at school (daycare), but today I just couldn't stay away. He was napping when I got there and I have to admit, I rubbed his face a little too hard so he would wake up. He slowly opened his eyes, sleepy little slumber eyes, and noticed me beside him. He smiled his Ollie smile (slow, big grin and flirty eyes) at me and I just melted. I know now what every mom has tried to tell all non-mothers before... the love you feel for your child is like no other. It is all consuming. I almost get drunk off this kid. His smile, his giggles, his da-da babbles (no ma-ma of course) his fat little wrists, his big blue eyes, his morning stretches with legs board straight ... be still my heart. I try to live in the moment each day, so I can try and remember all these moments. Its impossible of course. I already feel guilty for not taking video of his every waking moment,  not taking my camera and snapping pictures of every little thing we do and not recording every little detail of his life so far. Today, I wish I could have stayed with Ollie at school so I could witness his entire day. Instead, I froze that memory of his smile this afternoon in my heart and will hold it dear forever and ever.